This is a culmination of my too many interests. It's is an in-between place. It's more focused than my Myspace blog, but less so than my author blog. Here you can find artwork, photography, writing, poetry, book covers, manga and pointless videos. All of these things mesh together to become a reflection of their creator in an in-between place colored like shadows and flavored like frappuccinos and chocolate. It's one heck of a world.

Friday, January 22, 2010

The Dog Diaries

The Dog Diaries


The players:

05 - me n nermal.jpg   Me – the cat person
chucky cute.jpg   Hubby – the dog person
fido 4   Fido – the dog
hideki looking excited   Hideki – the cat
100_3473.JPG   Muffins – the snobby cat
why i have no pillows  Shelob – Queen of the Universe



The Diary of a Not-Dog Person


Day 1 – Friday.

3 pm: Hubby got home from work early and woke me up to drag me outside and show me a stray dog. Though we live in an apartment building with a half concrete yard, we’re in the country so we see a lot of these. It’s a nice dog, as dogs go, I guess. But it looked hungry, so I fed it leftover subway pizza and a sandwich from the fridge. Hubby usually yells when I feed the strays, but they never stay anyway, which is fine with me because I’m not a dog person. I don’t want a dog because they are too needy, too messy, too expensive, too time consuming. They bark, they drool, they chew, they jump and they have to go outside all the time to go to the bathroom. Nope, no dogs for me. It’s a philosophy I have stuck to for ten years or more, and I will continue to stick to it.

7 pm: Hubby has started calling the dog Fido after the zombie Fido in the very funny movie Fido. It’s sort of ironic because the zombie is named Fido as a play on a dog and the dog is named Fido as a play on the zombie.

9 pm: Hubby has to work tomorrow and I told him to ask around and see if anyone wants Fido; but only someone he knows will take care of him. I don’t want it to end up like the poor cat Needy we “found a home for”. The poor thing disappeared. I have a suspicion what happened to him. Shame; he was a sweet cat.



Day 2 - Saturday

5 am: Hubby is up for work. I reminded him to ask around about Fido. I’m worried he’s going to get hit on the highway out here. He said there were only two guys he would trust, but he would ask them.

6 pm: Hubby is home. He didn’t find Fido a home yet. He said those guys weren’t there because Saturday was voluntary. If Fido were a cat I’d take him, but I don’t take dogs. No. However, Fido looked hungry again so I gave him the partial bucket of boneless bbq chicken and another two pieces of subway pizza. He then seemed thirsty, so I put a bowl of water outside for him. I’ll go pick it all up tomorrow after he wanders off.

8pm: You know it’s kinda nice having old Fido outside at night when I have to go back and forth to the neighbor’s house. Especially after the outside timed light shuts off. Hey! The landlords are dog lovers. Maybe they’d take him? Hubby says he will call them tomorrow.


Day 3 – Sunday

11 am: I need to go to bed. Fido is still outside. He hangs around our house and our neighbor Brian’s house. I wonder if Brian is feeding him too?

5 pm: I got up and hubby was in town with Chris. Mom told him to get two cans of dog food for Fido.

7 pm: They’re back and they forgot the dog food. Also hubby didn’t call the landlords like he said he would. Fido looks hungry so Mom donated some leftover mashed potatoes and I found some roast beef. But that’s it. We’re cleaned out. Hubby promises he will talk to the landlords tomorrow. We can’t afford the humane society, and it doesn’t seem he is going to wander off like the other stray dogs did. He’s an older dog, so hubby says.

9 pm: Hubby said he talked to a couple of the other neighbors who said they have been feeding Fido too. I feel better now knowing that we’re no the only ones, since we don’t have that much to give him.


Day 4 – Monday

6 am: Hey! McDonald’s is open and I’m still up and hubby has no work today! Oh, I hear a sausage McMuffin calling my name!

9 am: We’re going to McDonald’s now. Fido and hubby spent ten minutes looking at me sadly. I said no, we are not keeping him. A dog is a big responsibility. No way. We will call the landlords.

10 am: I finally caved in and agreed to let the dog in the house IF he is potty trained. If he comes in and pees on everything then he is out, out out! Argh! We stopped at wal-mart and bought a bag of dog food and a bottle of flea and tic shampoo.

Noon: I am going to bed. Hubby plans to fetch the dog in and bathe him after I’m asleep. Good luck to him.

2 pm: awake again. The dog is still here. Not only has he not peed on anything, but hubby says he’s behaving. He brought him into the bedroom and hoisted him up on the bed. He was still wet so now hubby’s side of the bed is covered in dog hair. Serves him right. Though, Fido is a cute doggy. He has something wrong with his legs, though. They bend funny and he walks on them oddly. I think it’s either a birth defect or else he was hit by a car or something long ago.  Hubby also checked his teeth and is now uncertain how old he is. He says his teeth aren’t right for an older dog, but he has white flecks on his muzzle. I suspect this is just coloring. Hubby leaves Fido with me, and he sees himself in the headboard mirror and has a ten minute “fight” with the “other dog” no matter how many times I show him it’s just himself. I finally covered the mirror with a pillow because I need sleep.

2:30 pm: The dog can’t get off the bed by himself. Or he won’t anyway. Hubby came and got him. The cats are hiding in the bedroom and are very pissed.



6 pm: I can’t sleep, so get up. Fido and the cats have progressed to growling at each other and Fido snaps at them. No one actually attacks the other one, though. He also doesn’t growl too much at Shelob because she is just too superior to mess with any of them. I wish I could say the same thing for Hideki and Muffins who are always fighting with each other.  Btw, Hubby has given Fido my mixing bowls as dishes (AH!)

8 pm: made hubby take Fido out. I don’t know how to tell when he wants out. He was looking restless and a friend online said that’s a “sign”. He talks to Brian who said he already mentioned the dog to the landlords, and that they didn't seem interested.

11 pm: Fido is laying nearby staring at me like he wants something. It’s unnerving. I petted him and petted him, but he keeps staring. What am I supposed to DO? I made hubby take him out again before he went to bed, so hopefully that does it.


Day 5 - Tuesday

1 am: Fido was staring and nudging at me again, so I took him out but I couldn’t get him to do anything. How do you make a dog go to the bathroom? The only dog I ever had, you just walked it outside to its “spot” and that was it. Maybe he doesn’t need to go after all?

2 am: Fido is harassing me. I keep petting him, but it doesn’t do any good. He just went out so that can’t be it.

3 am: Ah. I found out what Fido wanted. The dog peed a gallon on the floor. Can’t be too mad at him, though, as he tried to tell me for an hour. Hubby has advised me that, in future, when I take him out I have to walk him farther down towards the fence. So long as we’re closer to the house he will stick right next to us and won’t go.

5 am : Took Fido out and he actually went. Good dog. When we came back he kept nudging me. He can’t want to go again?!

7 am: Fido was nudging me, so I took him out. He ran around a bit, but didn’t do a lot.

10 am: Fido was whining, so I took him out. Again, he ran a lot, peed on a couple of bushes and then wanted to go back in. I didn’t think dogs needed to go out every couple of hours? But don’t want to risk it…. But, as soon as we come in he’s back to staring at me and nudging me.

11 pm: Hubby has today off too, so sending him and brother to town for dog accessories and I’m going to bed.

4 pm: Hubby got Fido dog dishes, a collar and a leash. The collar seemed to really make him a happy doggy. Hubby had to take it off to adjust it and when he did Fido looked sad. Silly dog. One good thing about him, though, is he doesn’t jump on us, even if you try to coax him to. Might be coz of his legs. One of the joint in the front bends both ways. Hubby said maybe coz he’s older, but he’s not looking very older to me. In fact, he looks very younger to me.

6 pm: started “doggy proofing” the house. We are giving up the coffee table since we sit on the floor all the time anyway, and moving some other stuff around. Interesting note: Fido is scared of the broom and the vacuum cleaner. He slinks away from both and won’t even walk past the broom. Poor doggy.

10 pm: Will finish “doggy proofing” tomorrow. Took Fido out. He has to make a round of the whole property. Good grief. It’s a five plus minute jaunt just to pee on every bush there is. But, if it saves my carpet I’m all for it. He’s actually a pretty cute doggy and he doesn’t really have any bad habits I can see. No chewing, no jumping, no spraying. He does chase the cats sometimes, though. But hey, he is a dog. Speaking of cats, they have taken up residence in the bedroom because Fido won’t go in there for some reason.


Day 6 - Wednesday


Midnight: took Fido out.

3 am: going next door for a bit. Took Fido out to be safe. He didn’t do much.

5 am: Hubby got up. Told him to take the dog out. He said okay. Mom said I am being too soft. She says you have to train a dog to hold it, not race around his schedule. Maybe she’s right. She’s had dogs before. He also said to only feed him once a day instead of spacing it out. Hmmmm. 

6 am: came home to find that while Fido was home alone an hour he destroyed the blind by jumping on the door! WTF!?!?!

6:30 am: had to go to Chris’s to get the camera (mine has no flash) came back and Fido had left a mess in front of the door. I yelled at him and he looked truly sad. It took me ten minutes to clean it up between gagging. This is why I did not want a dog!!

9 am: yet another massive cat fight between Muffins and Hideki. Had to disassemble the front room to get Muffins out and medicate her head. Flesh wound, but it was bleeding so better safe than sorry. Don’t want another infected cat to take to the vet thanks to their fights. Stupid cats! I’m going to ship all the animals to Hong Kong!

Noon: going to bed. Fido keeps looking sad so I’ve petted him and assured him I still love him anyway. Took him out at eleven with good results. Figured out when he comes back in he’s wanting a doggy biscuit. I don’t have any, but Pringles Pickle chips seem to satisfy him for now. Stupid dog with his big eyes and lolling tongue. Hard to stay mad at him.

1 pm: I am trying to sleep but he is leaping on the door and tearing the blind up worse. There won’t be anything left of it! For crying out loud! Tried turning on the light – nothing. Tried bringing him in the bedroom – nothing. Tried shutting him in the bedroom and he throws himself at the bedroom door. AHHH!

2 pm: I give up. I am going to sleep anyway and he can just jump on the door all day for all I care.

5 pm: Hubby came home. I was awake anyway, so am just getting up. I made hubby use the carpet cleaner on the patch in front of the door. He bought some shampoo stuff that takes the odors right out. I want some puppy pads so that we won’t have to worry about the carpet so much. I don’t think we’ll finish doggy proofing tonight. I’d do it myself but I can’t move the coffee table alone because it’s too big and heavy.

8 pm: made Fido a tuggy sock, however he does not grasp the point of tuggy and lets go if you pull on it. He also does not play fetch. He just looks sad that you threw his ball away. So, I will just let him lay here and pet him instead, I guess.

11 pm: damn dog nearly knocked me over on his mad dash out the door. Screw it. I’m not chasing him down. He wants to be free, he can friggin’ be free! Like I need a dog I have to take outside every hour anyway!? Hubby said maybe we should just take his collar off and let him go. But we can’t do that. Taking off his collar would break his little puppy heart. I think throwing him out would too. He’s such a cute puppy – just bad! The cats come out and start nosing around. Soon their delight is palpable.




Day 7 – Thursday

Midnight: Oh, he’s not really bad. I’ve been sitting here worrying about the dumb dog. I can’t take it. Went out and he was right there laying on the ground and waiting, looking all chipper with his tail wagging. Makes it hard to scold him properly when he looks cute like that. Cats run back into bedroom, looking unhappy.

One am: hee-hee. Fido is playing with the cat’s toys again. The cats have come out of the bedroom and are glaring at him. The definitely don’t like that he has their toys, but it’s cute. It’s nice to see he can play, just evidently he likes to play by himself. I need to teach him fetch sometime. We also need to get him a bone or something.

5 am:  hubby took Fido out. Good doggy. I informed hubby we are not throwing Fido out and the only way he is leaving is if hubby found someone who was guaranteed to give him a better home (aka who has money or space). Otherwise he’s here to stay. Now, I am going to bed.

4 pm: I slept like the dead. YAY! And even better no mess! What a good doggy-woggy! Who’s gonna get a big, big baggy of doggy biscuits, huh?

6 pm: hubby got paid. We went to town and got some doggy biscuits, a bone, a tuggy rope (in case he figures it out) and some puppy pads. We left the doggy home alone. When we got back he had not torn up anything or made any messes, and in fact was waiting in the kitchen for us, not even in front of the door. Yay! Will finish doggy proofing tomorrow as I have to do the TTTC.

7 pm: he loves his chewy bone. Not so interested in the rope, and of course the doggy biscuits were a hit.

10 pm: hubby put up the new blind and took Fido out. The dog is spoiled. He lays on me most of the night while I’m on the laptop and is petted almost constantly. Hideki is now slinking back under the blankets with me, so I have them both. Lots of fuzziness to pet. The “attention” thing is not really a problem, it seems. Everyone kept warning me how he needed more loving than the cats, but I don’t think they were aware how much loving my cats get. Speaking of cats, Hideki is living on my shoulders now when I’m not on the computer.


Day 8 – Friday

Midnight : Fido’s next time out is three am, but he’s hounding me. I am trying to stay firm to train him.

12:45 am: stayed firm and he peed on the carpet, next to the puppy pad. Rubbed his nose in it, but it’s hard to be mad when he did pester me for almost an hour about it. I think we will adjust his times to 5 am, 4 pm and midnight.

3 am: Fido has one end nearly chewed off that rawhide bone. Yeesh. He loves that thing. He also seems to be getting along better with the cats. Good deal. I’m going next door, now. Will see what he does to the new blind.

7 am: am home. Blind is fine. Fido was waiting in the kitchen again. Hubby took him out back at 5 so I am now going to bed.

9 am: and I’m awake. Oh joy.

1 pm: I give up. I can’t get back to sleep and Fido is whining anyway. I think I’ll go ahead and take him out early, even though this ruins his time. *sigh* I am not a very firm dog owner. But how can you tell the poor thing “no”? I mean if he has to go, he has to go. I dunno… we will have to figure this out.

2 pm: the dog is lazier than me. I took him for a longer walk and he got tired before I did. We had to stop and rest before we could come home. Yeesh!

2:30 pm: Fed the cats but Fido wouldn’t let them eat, so I had to shut him up in the bedroom with me. I pulled him up on the bed, but no fights with that other dog as I covered the mirror up to start with. He was snuggly for awhile, then he got bored and hopped down. I shared my lunchable with him coz he looked cute. His drool isn’t so bad, after all. I mean, it kinda has a doggy smell, but it’s not so bad…

5 pm: hubby got home. I just said, “Hey, take the dog out to play” when it went in the bedroom and peed on the floor. WTF? I take him out but it’s fairly pointless now.

7 pm: trip to wal-mart and home to discover that while we were gone Fido managed to tear the new blind down and break the top of it.  As we are bringing groceries he rushes us and takes off again.  I’m not going after him. Bad, bad dog.

7:20 pm: I think we should go find dumb butt. Hubby says no. cats are in heaven and swarming. Shelob and Hideki curl up together next to my dinner. Even Muffins seems overjoyed.

7:40 pm: hubby opens the door and dog comes dashing in, tail wagging and looking completely unrepentant. Cats disappear like cockroaches.



For Sale: To good home, one black lab mix. Does not answer to the name Fido. Will knock the blind off your door every other day, then escape when he gets the chance, but comes back in half an hour. Doesn’t climb on furniture. Doesn’t jump on people. Chews only on dog bone and cat toys. Can not grasp the concept of tuggy. Will not go in the bathroom. Scared of brooms and the dark. Likes to chase bunnies and cats. Must have a dog biscuit after his walkies. Walks kind of slow. May or may not be “older”. Goofy expression. Loves his collar. Waits patiently for his leash to be put on and taken off. Falls over limp when you scratch his ears. Likes to lay with his head on your lap and look at you with big, puppy dog eyes.


fido 3



Ah crap. Never mind, I guess we’ll keep the goofy thing, even though the cats all say no :p 



Cool Link of the Day: "Thanks to a Reader" - I got thanked on an author's blog. By name. Really. Go look and comment. :) If you need a comment to write something like, "Wow! That Joleene is really cool! Did you know she has a book out? It's a really cool book. You should check it out." Yeah, something like that. (LMAO!!!! Can't blame a woman for trying ;))



Song playing at the moment - "Remedy" - Seether



staredown

0 comments:

Post a Comment

Typie, typie here!